is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
