Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
