I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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