You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
