Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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