I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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