im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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