Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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