She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I cannot find my penis.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I have post one night stand depression
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
