Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
