I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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