just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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