Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The cops high fived after they tackled you
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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