haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
