She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
