He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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