I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He is an equal opportunity slut.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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