Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
