He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
