its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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