if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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