what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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