We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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