I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
