yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We are all done wearing pants today
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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