i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
