Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She told me I should be a condom model.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
