Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
