I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
