who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
