Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
