office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
