you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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