Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I won't apologize to a one balled man
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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