And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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