She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
