I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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