a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
