we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
