I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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