the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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