PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
