Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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