Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
