Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(970): View more from Colorado

going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus

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(407): View more from Florida

I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.

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