Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

ok i said sorry. what else do you want?

(740): View more from Ohio

100 blowjobs

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(216): ok i said sorry. what else do you want? (740): 100 blowjobs http://tfl.nu/an0u

Replies (14) Good night (2011) Bad night (582)
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(847): View more from Illinois

my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.

(224): View more from Illinois

I'm with your mom on this one.

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(847): my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel. (224): I'm with your mom on this one. http://tfl.nu/c28m

Replies (9) Good night (1033) Bad night (2935)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.

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(248): Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win. http://tfl.nu/almv

Replies (47) Good night (22214) Bad night (1013)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."

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(508): They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever." http://tfl.nu/4fcm

Replies (49) Good night (17699) Bad night (1711)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.

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(773): Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat. http://tfl.nu/qnu6

Replies (31) Good night (4329) Bad night (5187)
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(206): View more from Washington

My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.

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(206): My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas. http://tfl.nu/jpxs

Replies (13) Good night (6186) Bad night (734)
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(917): View more from New York City

I just found a bag of teeth...

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(917): I just found a bag of teeth... http://tfl.nu/rg4d

Replies (18) Good night (1306) Bad night (4670)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on

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(812): Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on http://tfl.nu/glb4

Replies (4) Good night (1452) Bad night (624)
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(585): View more from New York

Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.

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(585): Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent. http://tfl.nu/ihl8

Replies (3) Good night (1551) Bad night (605)
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(916): View more from California

If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present

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(916): If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present http://tfl.nu/3ku6

Replies (2) Good night (1246) Bad night (481)
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(904): View more from Florida

You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.

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(904): You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award. http://tfl.nu/86ud

Replies (3) Good night (1276) Bad night (739)
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(561): View more from Florida

We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.

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(561): We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave. http://tfl.nu/7zum

Replies (9) Good night (1521) Bad night (458)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!

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(918): It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore! http://tfl.nu/18ia

Replies (2) Good night (1213) Bad night (407)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.

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(651): Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit. http://tfl.nu/rbgm

Replies (1) Good night (699) Bad night (280)
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(314): View more from Missouri

i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"

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(314): i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis" http://tfl.nu/xf6m

Replies (3) Good night (354) Bad night (248)

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