in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.