it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.