dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
