My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
