she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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