I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize