Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
