he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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