i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
