I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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