Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
