I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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