just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
