gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
BRING THE BAGELS
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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