hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
