you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize