people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
