I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
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I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
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Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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